15th Nov`14

and it`s finally my b`day :D :D i thought she would either call or text me in the midnight.. i know she isn`t of that type, she prefers wishing early in the morning. so, i tried to calm down. I was very disappointed when my other friends started wishing me and i was still waiting for her. and then it`s finally morning, as soon as i woke up, i looked at my phone with half an eye open to check if i have got calls from her :) and then i waited till 8:30 and then decided that she doesn`t know it`s my b`day, but i was still hoping. I went through a very hard night waiting for her to wish me first. and then i turned my phone to flight mode. i was very depressed, so i didn`t want to hear anyone else wishing me.. i didn`t want to feel it was my b`day, i just wanted to feel like it was any other day.
i woke up, took a shower, was very hungry yet i didnt feel like eating. Yes, i don`t feel like eating when im low.. so, have again hit bed.. and woke up at noon.. went straight to the bar and drank a lot of beer.. i hate drinking. i mean, i only drink very occasionally, and i hate to drink on my b`day.. but i just had to, so i would be high and keep her off my mind. and then went for a dinner and a movie after that. i returned to my place around 2:30.. and then removed my phone from flight mode and then saw her texts and whatsapp messages where she was wished me, invited me to her place and she made all the food, i love :( damn, she`s so sweet and adorable :( want an idiot i was to put my phone in flight mode. and now my brains hurt thinking, why would she cook everything i love on my b`day :| i do know she`s making a cookery blog, she might have cooked for that too.. but for some string reason, i felt she cooked for me, to make me happy :D hmm.. i don`t know what i mean to her, but she means everything to me. this day is supposed to be the special day for me, but this was just yet an any other day, thinking, dreaming about her :)
love you my pie!

14th Nov`14

and then, she actually remembers my b`day :( she asked me if tomorrow is my b`day.. i wanted to say an yes, but i dont know why i lied :( prolly, cause, i know I`m never gonna get her :D i was very touched, :( i know, she has pushed me off her life, and it would be really stupid of me if i keep expecting from her :P i just wanted to spend my all day with her.. my minds knows, it`s all over, but my heart is still behind her.. unknowingly, i became rude with her.. havent said anything but still was rude.. DAMN!! fuck this feel!! tomorrow is my b`day :((((( I`m neither gonna be with my parents nor with her.. i just wanted to sleep in my moms lap and wanted a hug from my dad.. but.. fuck!! i want to lay down in her lap once, just once.. :( and i wanted to be with her for the entire day.. i cant ask none of these to her :) since, im no one to her, can`t ask if i can lay down in her lap.. and if at all i ask her down for the whole day, or for a while, .. no.. no.. i dont even want to ask, the words she has uttered comparing me with him is still echoing in my ears :D
Dude, whats the whole fuss about!!!? It`s just a fucking b`day! So, what!??? Calm the fuck down mate, .. i know, i should :D i try to realize, i fail to realize, i realize, i fail :D cause, my wish dominates the fact that she doesn`t want me :D I`m bad in convincing people and i don`t even want to be good at it..
i dont know why she`s calling me home tomorrow :( is she sure about my b`day :(  i want to be with her but :( i want to be with her forever :(
Darling, it`s just one day, i really want to be with you :( i love you so much my sweetheart :( i even love the way you pushed me off yo life :D :( :D :'( :D :D 

12th Nov`14

b`days are the big things for me.. my dear ones and even mine :D

Not that my b`day is just around the corner, I`m just very scared of she not wishing me L not even going home hoping to be spend my day with her kani, not that her cousins are coming, I hardly have any chance to spend my day with her.. but does she remember my bday :( hmm.. I know and respect that she has moved on, kani.. I haven’t moved on kadha.. I still feel, I want her :( let`s see.. just few more hours.. I f she wishes.. i will be excited and happy :D and if she doesnt, i wouldnt be surprised :P no matter what, she will always be my sweetheart J

She pinged and asked about a watch, got a little depressed thinking, she`s gonna gift her fiancée, and then realized, she isn’t hooked yet :P and then suddenly got excited thinking, if she`s gonna gift for my b`day.. I know,  she doesn`t believe in celebrating b`days/ exchanging gifts and all.. and then I asked what`s happening, and then she told that one of team member from pune asked ani .. I was like okay K

Thought of dropping her home but she rode down herself and got drenched in rain, 8-) sometimes I feel, I was never there for her when she actually needed me,..  

11th Nov`14

I`m not writing doesn’t mean, I`m not missing or I don’t want her.. writing more, reminds more and is giving me more pain.. so.. crying and riding for a while is more better..
hmm, things between us are kind of okay now, I mean, nothing more than a friend for her.. she started calling me over to her place and I started giving her rides.. and yesterday when I was at her place, her cousins called and they were coming over to her place this weekend, 15th Nov, hmm, yeah, that’s my birthday, the day I was dying to spend with her.. hmm.. but it`s okay, she`s gonna have fun time with her cousins :) but, does she remember my birthday :/ what if she doesn’t even call :D hehe, ..
actually, I love to spend my birthday with my family, I don’t like to celebrate though, I just want to be with them, .. but hoping, she will remember and invite me to her place, I didn’t even book tickets.. now, miss my folks pampering and will miss her too..
should I take a bus or buy a tatkal ticket and go home? Or what if her cousins will not turn up and invite me :D I don’t know what to do!
Probably, I will just stay back, and hope to meet her, .. cause, this might be the last birthday we might get.. but I can celebrate all my birthdays till I die with my folks.. I just hope and wish she remembers my birthday :(
I will always love you sweet heart :)
She came in her new red dress today :O OMFG, she`s damn pretty in this :O she`s glowing like a radium :O and her stupid smile  makes me go crazy =)) what a wonderful lady she is 8-) hehe, probably that`s the reason I fell for her :D

12th Nov,
Had a nice ride, went to her place.. aunty gave me bujjia roti and some curd bread thing.. hmm.. every time I see her, I feel like pulling her into my arms 8-)
Love you!

22nd Oct`14

Gm sweetheart :D

Ninna night edho dream, andulo, we were riding, u were telling me to ride faster K and then we reached a blind curve and there was exact place for the tire to fit K and adhi kuda, curve and it was slippery K K and we were about to slip into a valley :s oka hand lo, I was holding u and another hand lo I was holding bike K and then I let go the bike and was unable to pull u.. and then from nowhere, my pedha mama came, pulled both of us.. took us to his place, and took me aside and beat me :( and he started yelling at me, ur irresponsibility, would`ve killed her and how would u live without her, ani, :( ento, nennu naa pichi kallalu 8-) hmm, prathi dream lo, nuvvu naa cheyi jaari pothunatu, kashta padi, nennu pattukuntunatu osthundi.. hmmm.. nuvvu ala aina dakuthe bagundu :)

Reached her place and picked her up to office, ento ee pilla, asalu noru ki rest ivvadhu, non-stop matladuthune vuntundi 8-) 8-) hehehe, bujji dhi :D illa matladina appudu, muthi ki mudhu petayali anipistundi :D :D

Went to Croma to see wet grinder for her.. how pretty she looks and how sweetly she talks 8-) she very well knows whom to keep where.. hmm, well, was talking about an incident she told about kal.. that fellow is okay and all but I don’t like anyone over acting with her 8-) :@ hmm

I love the way she turns around to look at me :) my heart goes sha la la la la :D :D

Im leaving my love, bubyee tata J muaaah :*

20th Oct

How can I ignore such an angel walking on the floor 8-) damn, she`s so gorgeous :)
Hmm, decided not to ping her and disturb, and also decided not even to bother with whom she`s hanging out and all..
She`s having shit loads of work, she didn’t even go for coffee :O  hmm

21st Oct`14

Gm nanna.. ento nuvvu nee dress lu, radium la mersipothunav 8-) :P :*** bujji dhana.. 

Ento I feel like growing beard and hair and whenever it becomes too much, I feel like, you should remind me about it.. I mean, u should tell me when to trim my beard and make my hair, like how my mom tells me 8-) ento, though I`m trying to get over, antha easy gha aithe leedu, ninnu marchi povadam  8-) hmm.. 

To love anyone, reasons em avasaram leedu, emotions untey chalu, and to hate someone katchintanga, reasons vuntai, my fate, I gave u enough reasons  no matter what, I will love you forever cause you`re my angel   love you chappi pie :)

Waiting for her for an elevator ride 8-)

And then we in the basement we decided to go buy crackers :D and yea, I took her (H) hehhe

19th Oct`14

Gm honey! I`m still on bed, thinking and rolling in your thoughts :) and then I pushed all my guts to wish her a gm :D 

She wished me back and I as usual, shamelessly asked if I can come over to place and she didn’t object.. she needed some help with blog too, so :D 

Took a quick shower, rushed to super market, picked tomato puree which she wanted and also picked few apples and started zipping away in the traffic :D and then, my bikes` gear thingie kept on slipping, had to stop every for long and fix it :@ 

Finally reached her place and Charvi welcomed me :D :D she`s such a cutie pie :* 

And this stupid monkey was in kitchen and had to wait for a few minutes for her darshan 8-) 

She`s such an amazing cook :D she made machboos and it was amazingly yummy :D felt like eating more but then, I didn’t want them to see me like a pig :s :P

Over all had a very nice day, and this time, unlike the last week, didn’t ask her and break her heart :)

Gn hon! Hope you too had a good time with me 

18th Oct`14

I woke up in yo arms and realized it was just a dream, hmm.. it was a sweet wake up though :) gm honey

On 17th, Friday, we met in the parking lot and felt she was try get over the anger she has on me. So, I decided to ride off. But I had to stop at a near-by ATM for money and then she over took me. And I again, I found her at the signals and was acting cold and when I asked if she wanted some more time, she nodded saying yes. Hmm, I had no choice than to ride away!

After the dream I had in the morning, I felt like pinging her on whatsapp kani, I thought it would disturb her again, so, I had to shut up..

No matter what I`m doing, no matter how busy I`m, you`re on my mind and I miss you :*

17th Oct`14

5:55 am

I woke with a lot of messages from her, cursing shit, what else.. she was like, it happens to many people and it`s not a big thing so didn’t get up and if at all it`s such a big thing, I wouldn`t have left the persons side and also said, that she`s not a kind of person who repeatedly asks for a small head ache, after I read that, I too felt that I`m also adhe type ani.. and then she compared me with him and said, I`m double torturing her and she said, he`s better L

Aina, aa pilla bondha, she  has lost her cool, else, ala anadhu aa pilla..and my heart says, she really didn’t mean that.. I know how much I`m for her :)

Kopam lo vundhi, it`s ok

She came in late and aunty packed food for her. Naa idli waste ayyindi K and she went for bf, aa time lo I texted if I can join, :$ no reply, artham ayyindi :$ bagha kallintundi ani :$

Kopam lo unnapudu, 1 lakh things anukuntam, ala ani, do we really mean all those? And do we give up on people.. and thana gurinchi naku telusu, kopam lo untey, she will keep herself away..to avoid further trouble.. very good thing..

Evening, ping chesthe, she spoke kind of okay :) some relief :) she`s busy with her work and don’t want to talk more 8-) K

Inka entha matladina, use leedu kadha .. hmm… aina I`m not in her heart any more.. so, inka odhu.. ani decide ayya, friend gha vundi potha J

Inka slow gha rayadam kuda taggistha, more I write more I miss her 8-)

16th Sep`14

4:30 am
Woke up to see if she`s awake, I mean, if she`s awake at that time, she`s going for yoga :@ she wasn’t up,

5:07 am
Again, woke up to see her WhatsApp last seen, it was still, yesterday 9:37 pm.. little confident she didn’t go for yoga :D

6:15 am
Again, woke up to see and there wasn’t any update on her WhatsApp and I finally woke up :D

7:16 am
:D :D :D got a text asking to get bf for her :D :D :Di asked her like a hotel waiter, idli, vada, dosa, poori   and she replied idli :P
So, thought she`s coming in early.. and asked what time is she gonna come in, so I too can come at that time and breakfast will be hot.. so texted herwhat time will she be in, kani, she didn’t reply.. so thana usual timing keveldham ani decide ayya

8:02 am
At tiffin center, got her hot hot, ghee karam idli :D I too felt like packing one for me :D so I too can have my bf and importantly thana tho.. :D and then I didn’t feel like showing my dirt face to her while eating :) so, decided to starve.. ooh, yeah, forgot to tell you.. when I`m unhappy, I don’t eat.. I don’t know why.. but I don’t feel like eating ..

8:20 am
Logged in; she isn’t in yet.. I`m waiting to see her :D

9:36 am
Thanu inka raa le 8-) :( .. was talking to Sumi, as she wanted to write an invite for her venture new firm.. so, while chatting with her, I asked her, if her akka has left for work, she said, yes.. and I asked her this at 9:04 am.. and it`s 9:36 am :O eef`ing 30 mins ride to office :O impossible :@ hope she`s fine 8-)
Hmm, will wait for another 5-10 mins and call her.. can`t wait longer.. naku tension ekkuva avutoondi..

9:40 am
Sitting and staring at the glass door 8-) everyone`s coming in .. every time I hear the elevator sound, my head instantly lifts up.. hmm..

9:48 am
So, did she go to yoga, else, why would she ask me to bf  lemme wait till 10:10 or so

9:48 am
She`s in :D she went to yoga, whatte stupid female she is :s

9:58 am
I was rats desk helping him with his work and she came :D to collect her bf :D isn`t she a synonym for beauty 8-) intha andham gha undhi entra babu 8-)

10:15 am
I`ve told her that I`ll not bug her asking for pelli 8-) though my feelings will not change for her, I will at least burry them with in, which I was always good at :D

11:09 am
Entha try chesina, unable to keep myself away from thinking of her.. thana contact IM lo, eppudu away pothundo chusthu ne unta.. choosi, choosi, eyes strain kuda vauthai 8-)

1:10 pm
I`m off lunch, she`s also lunching :D chapps, tummy is gonna be full :D

4:10 pm
There`s a blood camp at my office and I was going towards the meeting room where the blood camp is arranged and while I was going, she was going for a coffee break.. and we crossed our paths.. we stood for 15 secs and spoke and meanwhile, this idiot sud, came  what a piece of shit this fellow is  and then she left and I went in.. and I saw her kadha, I was on cloud 9 :D I went in and I was all hyper :D hyper :D and suddenly sud also came to donate and I saw at her desk and she wasn’t there.. I wondered with whom she was.. I donated my blood, took a big frooti sip and rushed to cafeteria and on the way, my blood started oozing out and people around freaked out.. not all :P anu and ling.. somehow I went to cafeteria, and these 2 guys were looking at my hand and were talking to me and I wasn’t able to hear a word as my focus was just on her and on that bastard, kal.. I mean, I know it`s wrong and too much to expect her to come and see me.. kani, forget that I`m her ex, at least oka colleague or fellow human kosam unna feeling aina undadha???? Hmm, she was sitting and talking to him, my blood boiled and my heart sank :D .. went back in, they cleaned the blood and put a plaster.. and then I went back there to see her.. I mean, we feel like seeing our ones right especially, hmm, I don’t know, I just felt like seeing her.. but she was busy talking to him.. I was talking to anu, taking some fresh air.. and then they`re done with their coffee I guess, she suddenly walked towards me and that bastard disappeared :D I thought she will talk to me at least for a couple of minutes kani, she left with 20 secs.. she asked, if I haven’t folded my hand .. I said yes.. she asked if I drank anything, I said, no :D and asked if she could get me something, she giggled and told me an algorithm to help myself for milk *raised eye-brow* felt like saying, why don’t you go and eff yourself..
Damn it, yesterday she wasn’t keeping well, my legs shook and I cried bitterly.. fine, I know she doesn’t love me.. but doesn’t she even have the courteousness to come and see me for a while.. adhe aa bastard tho aithe, hours together :@ :’(

5:35 pm
I`m unable find peace, I`m unable to focus on work 8-) I`m dying within.. she thinks, if we stop talking, I can forget her, what a lame ass reason! Who hell gives a eff, I again feel like seeing 8-), I`m going to get hot water 8-) which I hate to drink

5:40 pm
I guess, she saw me passing by and bent her head..  hmm, that`s true, Ignorance Is Bliss!!

6:13 pm
I asked if we can have an elevator ride :D  you know, going in elevator together :P anthe, nothing more than that.. she said, she will take some time, as she has work,  and I`m done with my work but I had to say yes, to see her for a few seconds :) and then she was like okay

7:02 pm
She pinged me :D ansked if I can drop her home :D :D :D what the bloddy efff :D :D :D hahaha :D :D does she think, I can say a no ;) :D pichi dhi.. repu yoga ki kuda drop chestha :D

7:28 pm
She`s still busy with work 8-) can`t wait to ride her home :D

7:40 pm
Sometimes I feel, I should learn SAS and domain, ASAP and move to her team and help her out 8-) so, I can even get to hang out with her for breaks and lunches 8-) kani, I eff`ing hate this domain 8-)

7:50 pm
I`m off, naa darling tho ride kosam :D
Rest all, wait for tomorrow (H)

9:10 am
Good morning chappi pie, I`m really sorry for yesterday.
We started and as soon as we left the premises, someone called her and she was like, why`s this fellow calling now, and I was like who`s that and to which she said, friend, I didn’t even bother to ask further, I felt it would be some of these bastards, but I had to cock up as I have nothing to do with it, any more.

Em ayyindo teliyadu, we were on the go and I saw a narrow gap and I tried zipping through, but couldn’t so and ride chusi, she lost her mind, and started yelling at me saying, this is the reason I never wanted to come with u and all.. kani, aa sudden movement lo, she put her hand on me to balance herself, aa second, I felt, I still love her.. she was yelling and I was just feeling her touch. And then she removed her hand and then I could hear her yelling :O  abooo, banda buthu lu tittings :s naa paina kopam. The anger she had on me, she started showing on fellow riders too :P what a hyper monkey she is, lol :P and then she told about her yoga classes and sinus thing and all,, and then we finally got home and while getting off the bike, she was like, you don’t come tomorrow, I will come myself, I was shocked and just looked into her eyes, she really meant it. She stared back and was like, go now! Took a U-turn and watched till she went in. and then texted her asking what happened? She was like, it might rain tomorrow, so I`m not sure if I`ll be going to yoga, what an ass, she was just avoiding me. I tried convincing her that I too will come for yoga, she was very reluctant! She goes to yoga at 6ish  and how the hell will she commute :@ and she was like, you don’t worry, my yoga master will send someone :@:@ which pissed me off :@ how can she go with a stranger at 6 in the morning :O I mean, if some of these bastards is giving a ride, I really don’t mind, I mean, she will be safe and she will never be mine.. and this conversation pissed both of us 8-) I didn’t know what to do or how to convince her. And then I left home, had my dinner and crashed on my bunker :(

15th Oct`14

9:20 am
She clearly said to move on, kani, at some corner of heart, I feel, she will come in her bday dress :D

9:45 am
She came :D she came in a pink dress though 8-) was she serious about saying a No :(
Andharki chance ichindi kadha :’( mari naku iyat leedu :(

9:54 am
Is she trying to pull my leg :O is this pink dress her last years b`day dress :D I soooo guess :D

10:20 am
She came back from breakfast.. she hasn’t pinged me yet.. I guess.. she doesn’t love me :D hehe :D not something new :D
Aina, No aithe cheppesindhi, inka miglinindhi, Yes ey kadha :D
8-) ilu nanna :(

11:12 am
Can`t keep my thoughts away from her :) em chesina thane gurthu vastoondi :) I hope she`s fine, she`s happy :)

11:20 am
Ninna night dream; I was in Tirupati and somebody knocked my room door, open chesthe, out of blue, it was SHE :O I was shocked and surprised :D she pushed me in, looked my dirty bed, gave a look, and I was like, umm, I`m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you, and then she made the bed, and told me to close my eyes, by the time I opened, she got undressed :O I mean, she was in her boxers and slip.. before I could say something, she was like, vachi paduko.. and I was like ok.. and slept beside her and was admiring her, and then suddenly I again heard a door knock :O I was trying to wake her up kani, she wasn’t waking up  mental dhi I had to open the door and my mom saw us 8-) then my mom asked if want to get married, and I with all excitement, I said YES :D but she didn’t look happy. I looked at her, and when I asked, she gave an irritating FO expression, cursed and walked away from my place :’( and I my bed still smells her :’( slept where she slept and was crying hugging her pillow. My folks understood what I was going through, they were just sitting outside crying with me :’( hearing them cry, felt very bad and then I woke up in tears again :)

11:45 am
She says, I`m unlike other guys, she also says, I`m better than her ex`s, she also say, I`m perfect… inni unnapudu, don’t I deserve a chance??? She gave a chance to all those cunts, but why not me :( why not me :(

12:10 pm
She and sud walked towards cafeteria, thought they were going to pantry, so, before they go there, I went :D and went on call.. after 15 mins or more, realized, they weren`t gonna come :s
So, spoke rakesh for 10 mins and cameback

12:25 pm
She`s like a bellam, andharu aa pilla chuturey vuntaru eppudu :@

12:26 pm
She went to pantry  I should`ve stayed longer in pantry :@ damn me :@ but, it`s an early lunch for her :O hmm, guess she`s hungry 8-)
Do you know, how pretty she looks in pink :D 8-) mind blowing :D

12:31 pm
She`s back online :O I didn’t see her walking back in  eff, I missed 
Didn’t she get her lunch? Is she waiting for the vendor?
Is she very hungry, that she went and is making herself maggi

12:34 pm
:D I just looked towards my left and saw her :D thought she would care to look at me :D hehe :D why would she look at some loser :P I`m sure, you know who the loser is :D  feel like seeing her, should I go grab hot water? Hmm, I guess so

12:45 pm
Went to get hot water, I saw her :) whenever I see her forehead, I feel like kissing and tell her, always be happy, I`m there to handle any shit for u, hmm.. wished I would see her eyes kani, she chose to ignore me :D nothing new :D just hope every time :D
There will be a 0% impact if I`m not there in her world. Kani, my heart is effing shattered and ripped apart without her! Hmm,
Appudapudu anipistundi, there`s a joy in giving what our loved ones want and so I`m slowly making up my mind in giving her freedom :)

1:00 pm
She`s going out, saw her legs through the glass door. Thought she was going her friends, but she`s going with her new team mate or someone, not sure but she`s hanging out with a female :D hanging out as in, going out :P hehehe, :D :D hope she becomes very close to her :D ee sollu gallu takkuva avutharu :@ I`m waiting  for her return..

3:30 pm
I thought she went for lunch kani, it`s been more than 2 hours  I have been waiting for her at reception from more than 1.5 hours kani, she didn’t come yet. I texted, no reply :@ em ayyinuntdi :( is she okay? Should I call or will she get irritated when my name flashes on her phone.. hmm, she not giving me a choice, if she`s not gonna come back in another 10 mins, I`m gonna call.. I don’t care if she gets pissed, but I want to make sure she`s safe 
Bloody hell :@ cheppi velle pani leeda :@

3:45 pm
 she`s not even picking her calls :@ :@ :@ where the hell is she :’( laaagi, champa ki kotta li ani vundhi :@ :@

3:50 pm
Kaalu, chethu lu, adatam leedu :( my hands are getting sweaty :’(

5:00 pm
Thanu kosam wait chesi, wait chesi allisi poya.. so, call chesanu.. she was on call waiting, some relief.. 8-) ekkada vunna, safe vundhi ani .. immediately texted her to call me back, she called me back in 2 mins, and then she told me, she wasn’t keeping well and left home :( she was feeling pukish anta.. :( so, upon the suggestion of her friend, she tried, eno, kani, there wasn’t any relief, so, she left home.. she went and rested, she says, she`s feeling better now.. intha sepu tension lo vunna and suddenly ee news vinna gha ne, I couldn’t resist my tears, as I felt my voice gonna change, I hung up and later I asked if I can come over to see her once, just for 5-10 mins, she was like, pls don’t come, naku nachadu, nannu ibandi pettaku ani cheppindi, so.. just had to sit, think and shed a few tears  and left.. depression lo, groupon lo deal book chesukona,

7:30 ish pm

pichi pichi gha thinna :@ and while eating I texted her asking if we can normal friends and I wouldn’t ask her for the big move.. she was like, I know you, nuvvu vunda leevu, malli idhe repeat avtundi, ani she told..i was left with no choice and pushed my guts to ask if I can pick her tomorrow, she gave a strict no :D
I hope she will be fine by tomorrow,
Gn my angel!

:D

Oh girl you make me crazy, every time I look in to your eyes my baby..
I don’t know the reason I`m starring at you, you make me crazy..
The first time I seen you, oh my girl, I went so crazy…
Your smile so beautiful, I`m going on crazy…
Every day oh girl, you make me crazy,..
Every time I look in your eyes my baby
Things are gonna get sorted out, don’t worry my baby girl

heard this song somewhere, now singing it for you :)

14th Oct`14

Had a very sleeplessness night, couldn’t even sleep for 1 hour straight.. she completely occupied my dreams all the night. I`m getting restless day by day. She`s a strong female, she said a No, kani, ekkadooo oka chinna hope that she will dare to take it forward..
allisi pothuna :( don’t know what to do, don’t know how to convince her, don’t know what to write here too :’(
9:25 am
What a coincidence it was, we met in the parking lot :D thought we both can take the elevator, kani, some guy from my office also came :@ she started going to yoga early in the morning, for a week.. and she`s not supposed to eat until she`s done with yoga, when I met, she had a very bad head ache :( I wish I could take her pain :(
9:38 am
She pinged me saying she`s off for bf.. I`m also very hungry 8-) haven’t eaten anything since last night :D hmm, I can`t eat if my manasu is not ok 8-)
Hope her head ache gets better after eating..
I told her that I will not disturb her today as she`s has a head ache, kani, I just reminded that tomorrow is the last day for us to decide..
Sometimes I feel I`m literally begging her and losing my respect, kani, aa feeling vachinapudu, I feel, chappi ne kadha anippistundi.. and she also likes me kadha anipistundi.. hmm, whatever, let her take decision, if at all she doesn’t find what she wants in me, she`ll say a no.. at least, thanu aina happy gha vuntundi kadha :D why and from when did I become a cry baby :D always crying :D :D hehehe :D

11:09 am
Going to take water to see her

11:22 am
I know she wasn’t there, she was away since 5 mins, aina nennu vella to get water, I thought she would have gone to loo and by the time I fill water, she will come out anukuna, it`s been 15 mins now, I hope she`s fine :’(

11:40 am
She`s still away, I texted her, no reply, she`s last seen on whastapp on 11:09 am, em ayyindi nanna :( are you ok?

11:48 am
Hmm, searched office reception, and went to pantry and found her.. she was talking with raja,, hmm, she was giggling and seemed normal.. hmm, was she so busy to reply my text? Didn’t she know I was worried, I love this ignore mantra she`s using on me :D
Eefing hellll!!!!

11:53 am
She`s back after 40 mins break, where she didn’t even find a minute to reply me :D

2:17 pm
Just came back from lunch, em thinna le.. anu figured, I wasn’t okay, so he pulled me out .. he ate, I had Tropicana.. whomever I see, whatever I see, I can only see her.. anu caught me with tears, several times, he just patted, I guess, he understood the pain :)
And when I came back, surprisingly she was at my desk, talking to rat.. she came for me I guess :D I mean, I thought.. but as soon as I stepped in, she moved away :O . I unlocked my lappy and saw her reply to my ping, and she was feeling better and she had her lunch  *sigh* and I asked her if she came for me, *I was excited with in, cause for sure she would`ve come for me :D* kani, she didn’t come for me 8-) rat ki edho doubt unde, so she came.. hmm :)

3:10 pm
She pinged me :D did she miss me :D? siggu lee kunda, adigesa.. repl ivvale.. I didn’t want to hear her no.. so nenne.. back to back questions adiga.. hmm, as usual, 1 min ani cheppi, jump ayyindi, 10 mins wait chesa, ping le.. I know she`ll be busy with her work.. more than work, andhari attention tha na paina ne :@ andhar ki, thane kavali to talk :@ :@ at the end, it`s me who`ll be missing her the most :( how I wish she could understand how badly I`m missing her :)

4:00 pm
Hmm, gurthu osthoondi, tea kosam veldhama ani thinking, 8-) so I can see her 8-)

4:07 pm
She went for coffee with her friends, naku 1 min ani cheppi, 1 hour ayyindi and 1 hour break teesukuntundi, eppudu inthe :@ neeku plli ayyaka vundhi ve :@ nadumu giili pedutha :@ nee m kuda :@
Missing you nanna :( time deggara peduthundi kadha, morning nunchi I`m in nonstop tears :(
Manam pelli chesukuntunam kadha :(

13th Oct`14

8:50 am

And then she wished me gm :D I`m sure this is gonna be a good day for me :D and she misread my conversation and went to bed and she corrected herself this morning, I hope she wasn’t hurt 8-) :( ento ee thokka lo feelings.. aina, ento ee ammai intha cute gha vuntundi, kani manchi thingardhi, :P and manchi kanchu kuda :D :* 

Ee dash kal gadi valla, she`s pinging me on whatsapp 8-) it`s a pain to text on phone  

9:10 am

She`s going to AOL with aunty and sumi along with sud and sri.. hmm, thana reports ani clean vundali  im really shit scared about pcod :((( aunty hand pain ki kuda edhaina solution osthe bagundu, she`s taking up entire cooking for the whole family8-) my chappi should be healthy and safe :(( 

10:30 am

She texted me saying she was leaving to AOL. I could see her feet from the glass door, how pretty they are :D wish I could touch, cares and kiss them :(

10:36 am

I`m sure, she will not have any problem :) cause.. casue.. cause, I don’t know the effing reason but :O she will be safe anthe :D 

11:26 am

1 hour paina ayyidi, I haven’t heard from her yet.. I know she will be busy and she`s surrounded by family and friends.. aina, it`s ok, cause she will be fine :)

12:15 pm

she whatsapp`d me saying; they told to continue same medicines for her and they changed a few medicines for aunt.. and when asked again, she said, she has a small problem 8-) :(((((( ento aa problem she said she will tell me later :( em ayuntundi :( I don’t want to say this but, if she has a problem making babies, I don’t know if my folks will be okay with it.. and I don’t give a shit to kids :( I only want her :(

12:50 pm

She was on a fast.. I mean, she is not supposed to eat anything before going to AOL.. she must be very hungry, she`s off for her lunch :P bujji dhi, kummings :D 

1:10 pm

Nennu kuda lunch ki goings :D, tata sweetie :D 

4:24 pm 

:O WTFFFF :O monna cricket unde kadha, :O dani kosam, meeting :O and yeahhhh :O we stood opposite to each other in the corner of the boardroom :D oomg, ooooomg, she`s soo pretty :’( she was touching the thingie on the wall where we pin papers and stuff  ento ee mentals dhi  :P mental dhana  she was also checking if I was seeing her :D :D donga dhi :D nadumu gilleyali, dongi fellow :***

4:55 pm

She`s off for coffee, 30 mins ayyindi  she said she has lots work today, thokka lo, coffee ki 40 mins teesu ko ka pothe, twaragha work finish cheyachu kadha 8-) 

I`m not commenting her working style.. just felt, so she can go home soon.. or at least we can go to chroma :D :D :D 

5:03 pm

She`s still coffee`ing 8-) neee enki fellow 

5:08 pm

She`s back at desk.. should I ask if we are going to chroma today :/ 

Hmm, I have asked to think about me till Wednesday, I hope she gives me a positive sign :D

10th Oct`14

8:15 am

Gm nanna J just came in.. had a family dream last night, and she was there in it, we all were going in car and I was secretly kissing u and my caught us and she gave a straight face expression and bursted out laughing and kissed both of us, hmm, at least in dreams, natho vunnav :)

Btw, her Jersey green.. Malli white jeans lo osthundi emo? Actually black kuda bane untundi.. Aina green lo, radium la she will glow :D

8:50 am

Gmmmmm :D :D  she wore a normal salwar :O :P hmm, waiting for her to ping me :D hmm, ninna nennu chesina oa tho, inka y will she ping me :D oka pedha daridram poyindi anukunintundi :D hehe :D gm honey..

Water kosam velthuna :D aa sud gadu kuda leedu, I can see her eye fully :D

8:54 am

Nothing unexpected, I`m sure she knew I was there, she didn’t even bother lifting her head to see me :D

I`m going crazy for her :D and she lost all her cool and respect for me :D :D \:D/

9:15 am

I`ve shown all my prospective girls to her and for some or the other reason, it didn’t go to wedding, so thinking to send this Hindupur girls` pic too.. but scared to start a conversation.. ella ani, even if I start, it will be like for a selfish reason..

9:18 am

I dared to wish her gm and sent her the pic and told her the reason and apologized for bothering her, she got away with, hmm

9:28 am

And then I saw Her :D why do I get so happy looking at her :O damn :O but, why is she walking slow? It`s not her style, hmm, I really hope, she`s keeping okay.. Or Or, is she chumming :/ I mean, she got pissed off out suddenly, this really surprised me, but I know, whatever I said, would`ve impacted her.. whatever, I have stone heart, soul and body, I only wish and hope for her health and happiness :)

10:20 am

And then I saw her again :D she was going for coffee.. this time she was walking normally :O was she walking slow so she can see me :O or is she not keeping well or was she thinking elsewhere :/ ento, this mental fellow is making me go mental

10:49 am

I feel like going to her place 8-) see and spend some time with her and her family.. Saturday match vundhi, so only possible day is Sunday, hmm, hope she will not be busy.. and most importantly, how should I ask her :( and if at all even if I ask, will she say Yes?? Or will she get away by saying something, 8-) I`m scared, malli odhu antey, inko stroke naa weak heart ki :’(

Adaga na … odhaaaaaa :((((((

10:51 am

Coffee ki she will have hours, a minimum of 2 hours every day :@ kani, for me, day motham lo, 5 mins.. 5 mins kadhu, 1 min kuda vundadam leedu :((((

How this stupid fate is pulling  her away from me :D lovely, sexy fate, I say :D

1:14 PM

Lunch chesava? Already desk deggara vunnav..

3:30 pm

hmm, thanks to the cricket meeting, saw u for quite a times :) I couldn’t stop looking at u :) andhari tho nu, she talks well and nice .. nenne black sheep ayyipoya thana ki.. hmm,, edho le, she moved on and she didn’t give me a choice than to bleed tears :D I`m happy though :D

5:20 pm

She`s even talking with souj :O felt like saying, voooosey :O :@ , why not me :O if I knew this would give me this much grief, I wouldn’t have fallen for u :D I would`ve always been ur friend :)

5:30 pm

Btw, I really hope she`s coming tomorrow :) osthe, I will rape with my eyes, hehehe :D love ya, hon :D

5:40 pm

Waiting for her to leave,  so, I can take the same elevator to get down so, I can get to see her again :D I`ve closed my work for the day and just looking at her contact :P

6:35 pm

Waiting for her to leave 8-), looks like she has got lot of work, hmm.. in case if I stay too late, it kind of becomes too obvious for her, so should I wait? Damn, I feel the entire world is staring at me when I`m looking at her 8-) hmm well, shall I wait till 7, cause that`s ok I feel.. hmm, does it????

9th Oct`14

9:10 am

Naa chapps ki very goodu morningu :D nee mood better now??

Ee roju naa chapps head bath :D entha sexy gha vunnaooo back nunchi :D nuvvu ella vunna sexy gha ne vuntav le :D naa chapps kadha :D

Hmm, morning nee face chudam ani water kosam velle appudu chusa :P.. waster kosam raa le, nee face choodam ani ocha, looked like you were busy, your head was into laopy, hehe.. hmm.. good morning nanna.. night antha pichi pichi dreams, nuvvu leevu :P my friend fell into quick sand, I was unable to save him.. ekkada chusina, quick sands.. it was a quick sand trap anta .. L so sudden gha lecha, malli nidra pata le.. nee gurinchi aloochisthu, padukuna J

9:30 am

You :O you :O wished :O me :O gm :O :D :D :D :D chapppppiiiiiiii :D gm bangaruuuuu:D :D :D  I`m so happie :D I was almost in tears :D :D

Want to wish u back, kani, if I start talking to u, I might end up asking u again.. it will provoke u..malli nee mood karab avtundi, so odhu :D olive juice honey :D

9:58 am

:O I saw her :D I saw her :D I saw her :D :D :D damn, pretty u :D  how I wish I could spend hours looking into ur eyes L I want to put her sleep and admire when she`s asleep L

Listening to 1 song for more than 1.5 hours.. kani, I don’t know what I`m listening to.. :D

OLIVE :D

11:13 am

em chesthunav 8-) pani ella vundhi ee roju? Hmm, em le, just wanted to say hi, anthe J

hmm “nuvem exception kadu

chance dorikinappudalla...manchigane estunnav” J :D :D 8-) :D

11:33 am

Machipoleka pothuna ra L I miss talking to u L aa daridrudu kal ni champeyalani vundhi:’( cartoon naa ko** gadu :@ :@ :@ 

12:13 pm

You will only know you love her when you let her go

2:10pm

Friend ki accident ayyindi velli ostha..

2:20pm

Bike anu teesukoni velladu, nee bike isthava L urgent L nee bike serive ayyidni, evara ki ivvan annav.. hmm.. andulo,.. ee situation lo, inkem adaganu L who will have a bloody bike

3:00pm

Took ur damagers bike.. keys ivvadaniki osthe, sud, nannu kastha teed agha chusthunadu, kind of checking out, if im seeing or not.. hmm.. emaina ayyinda?

3:54 pm

Sitting and seeing her contact, in case she goes away, I can get to see her ani.. hmm

4:30 pm

Ee time ki, darshanam doriikindi.. :D she generally walks fast, hope she isn’t having a leg ache 8-)

She`s still here, waiting for her to go for coffee, hmm :)

Whatever I see, reminds me of her.. sandals, clothes, mobile, anything..

It`s not the breakup which has hurt me the most, but the way we had to break up, hmm.. caste is definitely lame ass reason to break up if she really loved me.. she gave up on me even without asking, forget fighting.. hmm :( I fell in too deep, way too deep! But, for her

I was just an another brick in the wall L

Entha baadha aina, manasu artham cheesukodu kadha, coming to see you :D :D

5:40 pm

I was hungry and wanted to pick some chips, aa time ke she was leaving, didn’t know what to do, back and forth vella.. and then decided not to show my dirty face b4 she leaves :D kani, as soon as I saw her, I was full and content :D

I guess she`s in a rush, generally, she put her IM status to Off work, kani ee roju she left in Away.. terrace ki velli, I saw her riding off :)

Ippude baby tho matlada, she was talking about the girls folks coming to my place, hmm.. madya lo nalligi pothuna :(

she left me, but my heart is still not able to digest.. don’t know if I can ever be able to digest

hope you`ll like the sandals, I have sent you..

 OLIVE JUICE!! Have a great evening sweetheart :) *big teddy hug*

6:14 pm

Oka singer or writer avail ani vundhi, so I can write and cry my heart out :’(

Ninnu miss avuthuna veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(( heart pains, brains hurts, I`m fucking paralyzed without you IDIOT :@:@ :(( I love you nanna :((((

8th Oct`14

:D finally first godava :D hmm, prolly lost also, nuvvu naa paina prema tho godava pada le, naa paina chiraku tho paddav 
U completely got me wrong nanna.. naaku nee paina picha namakam vundhi nanna.. swara ni chusaka, ammailu paina naku namakam poyyindi, and ninnu choosthe, ammailu paina gouravam and namakam osthundi.. nuvvu naa devatha range.. ninnu, nennu anumanichadam enti.. am I the similar pig as other men you`ve come across? Hmm, emo.. ayundachu emo.. kani, I will try to be different from them, naa side nunchi aithe, no contact :D :D chappi tho nennu inka contact cheyanu :D

There are few things which we need to look for in our partner nanna.. Manaku vallina choosthe, time spend cheyali anipiyali, loloo pala, edho teliyana santhosham, chinna chinna santhoshalu ni enjoy cheya galali,, appude manam happy undachu..
Neeku evarani choosina ala anipiya leeda? college lo, inti deggara, office lo?
There are things to consider, Ninnu artham chesukuntada? Career lo, family tho supporting gha untada.. ninnu ishtama gha chusukuntada..
Neetho nennu nadusthanu, nuvvu em pani cheyali anukuna, nee venake vuntanu… ani naa pichi kalalu :D :D

Neetho nadavali ani naa padham thapana..
Neetho ne vundali ani naa pranam thapana..
Neekosam every part of mine keeps searching
:D :D
Edho, pichodi laa avuthunanu :D


Morning ninnu bagha hurt chesa kadha :’( im really sorry nanna.. I have no intension to hurt you.. miscommunication ayyindi..
Caffeine helps to burst stress anta, hope ur coffee is helping u.. I can hear sri laughing, hope ur better now  nennu, im perfectly alright :D I love you honey  :**

My heart slips when I see u, nizam gha  my  every tear is, ny every heart pain is my proof for the love I have on u

Ninnu chudali anipistoondi  nee kosam, tea, and coffee taagi taagi, my tummy is getting screwed.. :@ anduke just hot water (H).. osthuna :D oka sari, velaithe head lift cheyava, pls .. want to see ur eyes..

Hmm,.. ento ee roju, lechi, naa moham nenne chusukunanu emo.. chappi, naa face chudadaniki kuda ishtam leenatu vundhi :D goodu progress :D preminchina vala ni, hurt chesa.. adhi, chappi lanti angel tho,

7th Oct`14

Nennu, ninnu entha gha miss avtunano, nuvvu nannu antha gha ignore chesthunav kadha :D 

Ping chesthe, 1 min antav, hours taruwata kuda em reply ivvav, kani, coffee breaks kosam matram hours vuntundi kadha  hmm, sare le, naa problem kadha, I will have to deal with it :D thanks for the love, thanks for the memories, thanks for the pain :D it hurts chappi :D im unable to focus on NOTHING :D 

Im juggling all days and night for u :D ignore cheyi, bagha ignore cheyi :D :D 

Monkey fellow  prolly I lack something which u wanted :D voooooosey :’( 1 min 2:20 ki cheppav.. 5 avtoondi 8-) 1 hour coffee break teesukunav.. kani, inka naaku cheppina 1 min aithe matram kaa le kadha.. nennu enduku ve, eppudu nee gurinche think cheyali, nee kosame think cheyali :@  po ve  nuvvu naku odhu  :’(

Naku ishtam aina chocos teepinchanu, you might like it emo ani .. teesukuntava.. leeda?

Malli anipistundi, enthaina, vaalu vale, nennu nenne.. enthaina, neeku nenne spl ani 8-)  I know, I no longer exist in your heart, kani, at least, im bit more than every other friend of yours at work place, kadha nanna :D kaadha? 8-) hmm  I feel, im .. hmm

26th Sep`14

Gm nanna, I have strongly made up my mind, not to bug you any more, anduke neetho morning antha free gha, casual gha matlada :D illa, thoka lo chala sarlu commit ayya anuko, and fail kuda ayya, this is just an another attempt.. ee roju naa face chusava :O trim chesa :D and face wash use chesa, im looking a little bright :D nuvvu chustav emo anukuna K waste fellow, eppudu busy K pe K :@

Wrist bagha pain gha vundhi nanna L oka sari kiss chesthava L nuvvu kiss chesthe pothundi :D chesthava :D

aa item suri gadu photos share chesadu kadha, I was only searching for you 8-) wasn’t even bother where I was 8-)

Repu, pelli chupulu nanna 8-), naa prathi thought lo nuvve vunnav, veere ammai ni ellla chuda galanu cheppu L missing you ra banagram L

*****

2:54 pm

Nuvvu lunch teesuko ni raa leedu antey, I felt like asking you out, kani, guts chala le, cause I`m scared to hear a NO L aina 1 hr lunch entey babu 8-) sare le, em thinnav? Frooti taagava? Nanna, okati adagana? You have decided and moved on, so, you`re free to do anything you want to do with anyone.. kani, nennu..neeku andhari kana ekkuva ey kadha LI mean to of the people in office L ee item suri, cartoon kal, joker sud..and so on, kana..? 8-) bujjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.. im unable to think anything other than you ra :@ paki moham :@ pe :@ .. sare le.. oka pedha, pn review 8-) brb, my love

*****

4:21 pm

Sri, kal, evaru leeru gha, neeku coffee ki evaru company leeru gha :D inka manam vellochu anukuna :D hehe :D naa pichi kadhu :D naa verri kadhu :D antha tellisi kuda, expect chestuna :D sudh vunnadu ani marchipoya :D nanna, ninnu chala premisthuna ra,.. hmm, aina, loving u madly isn’t my greatness, it`s the magic in you :D I want to feel your touch :’( so, I might calm down :’( chappiiiiiiiiii :’( 10 days, I will not be able to see you :’( lunch anukuna, at least coffee anukuna :’( chapppiluuuuuu :’((((((((

******

5:18 pm

Inka kodhi sepu lo jump avtuna.. hmm, I didn’t know, you had a problem with shiva.. and just oorike adiga, in case srikant disturb chestunadu emo ani, didn’t mean to hurt u.. i`m really sorry.. and y do I feel, you`re not ok ani.. em ayyindi, nee body language ey kastha different gha vundhi.. don’t worry nanna, everything will be fine.. if nothing is going fine, I will be there for u to set things your way … ento ee dialogue bagha ekkuva ayyindi ani naa feeling, kani, I mean it, anthe.. ILU

5:51 pm

Asalu work and career paina focus cheyale kuna 8-) last 2-3 months aithe, nee trance lo undi pothuna 8-) and ikkada rat gadu emo, vadu, vadi cheap tricks play chesthunadu.. I`m least bothered though! Bayata veere company ski apply chedam anipistundi, kani, malli akkada nuvvu vundav kadha anipistundi L

low ni� � a a �' 0" tha gha unta :D cause that’s me.. aa coffee aithe edho natho ravachu kadha 8-) heart chala heavy gha vundhi, can`t stay anymore.. 

Nanna, entha aina, has anyone dreamt what you will be wearing the  next day and came true?? Hmmm, ento naa pichi prema.. neeku artham kadhu, pooo ve L

****

5:31 pm

Nuvvu ey time ki velthunav? So, at least few seconds I can see u 8-) chivaraki, rat adigadu, em ayyindi, enduku dull gha vunnav ani.. hmm, neeku matram artham kanu kadha nennu 8-)

25th Sep`14

Gm chappi pie J ninna endukoo nuvvu black vasthav anukuna, and ur in it :D .. was very happy giving u a ride after a long time.. aina, ento naa anadam, hmm.. ento le.. intlo valatho personal call kosam baataki ocha, saw u with kal,.. ento.. chivaraki, aa cartoon gaditho vunna kuda J feel avuthna L nuvvu oka sari ala touch chesina, naa body lo prathi nerve stimulate avthuna.. inka confirm aa chappi, manaki asalu chance leeda?

Nanna, mana future ento teliyadu kani, ee depression valla na, I`ve lost my hyperness, I`ve sobered down a lot, simple gha cheppali antey, I have lost myself in this trance.. edho thoka lo, Training - Communication in Virtual Teams.. ninnu chudachu ane aasa,… ento, appudapudu, nannu nennu chuskuntey, naake asahayam gha vundhi L oka ammai kosam enti ani.. kani, malli anipistundi, ur my angel, anduke nuvvu antey pichi prema ani.. hmmm.. don’t know what`s in store for us … c u in training

****

1:04 pm

Ippude aa thoka lo training ayyindi, you were diagonal to my left and was very difficult to see you 8-) kani, never left a chance to turn and see :P and whenever I look at u, my heart dances :D

Btw, nuvvu lunch techu ko leedu kadha L I know, naku telusu.. bayata ki veldam ani adagali anipistondi, kani, I`m scared of your answer.. kani, I guess I should give it a shot and check my luck.. aagu, adugutha :D … voooosey, ekkada vunnav :@

Lunch techava 8-) pooo.. inka velli kummu L nennu lunch techukunana, asalu thintunava ani asalu patinchukuntunava asalu, pe.. eppudu nenney chusukovali ninnu :@ hehehe, oorike ana.. im always happy nanna :D .. aina, u don’t care for me anymore kadha L appududapudu badha anipistundi, kani, you not being with me keeps you happy kadha :D so, naa banagaru ki pawan odhu :D morning nunchi em thinaleedu, chala akkali gha vundhi kani, thinne mood aithe asalu leedu, edho gha vundhi.. hmm, oka chinna bike ride ki velli ostha, fresh air might help.. hmm.. c u in a bit J

*****

3:04 pm

After our chat! Kastha hope vunindhi, kastha aasa vunindhi..hmm, ippudu antha evaporate ayyindi, tears matram miggilindi.. I knew you wouldn’t take our thing to next level kani, ekkadooo hope vunindhi, life lo eppudu anthe lucky gha leenu kadha,  at least ippudu aina, lucky avuthanu emo ani.. hmm J aina, nennu neekosam enduku yedavali, enduku bada padali :@ illane oa chethu vundu, chivaraki, ey typist oo, ey waste fellow oo osthadu :@ po ve :’( chappiiiiii :’(((I love you nannnaaa :’((( unable to see properly,, will be back soon :’((

*****

4:36 pm

Coffee tagutunava K taagu, bagha taagu ve :@ L ee thoka lo manaki ee love feeling enduku vachindi asalu L lekapothe bagundedhi, at least, manam free gha unde valam 8-) aina, aa cartoon kal gaditho roju coffee enti asalu :@ J ekkuva avtundi nanna L oka sari, naku okay cheppu nanna, naa antha hyper and happy fellow ni ekkada chudanantha gha unta :D cause that’s me.. aa coffee aithe edho natho ravachu kadha 8-) heart chala heavy gha vundhi, can`t stay anymore.. 

Nanna, entha aina, has anyone dreamt what you will be wearing the  next day and came true?? Hmmm, ento naa pichi prema.. neeku artham kadhu, pooo ve L

****

5:31 pm

Nuvvu ey time ki velthunav? So, at least few seconds I can see u 8-) chivaraki, rat adigadu, em ayyindi, enduku dull gha vunnav ani.. hmm, neeku matram artham kanu kadha nennu 8-)

24th Sep`14

10:21 am

And then you finally wore white jeans like how I dreamt :D :D naa dreams coming true :D ru my lady luck? Ru gonna come into my life?? :’( :’(

Chala rojulu taruwatta, u stopped me to talk to me :D ento, chinna chinna vi kuda is making me feel very happy :P

Nuvvu pink lo entha baguntuvoo telusa :D :D

I`m waiting for it to be 2:30, so I can see you for a few HOURS :D :D bujjuluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu :D :D :D

****

11:48 am

Ee Friday hindupur ki velthuna, pelli chuppulu ki, aa ammai peru teliyadu, emi tleiyadu.. not even interested in knowing .. naa manasu full gha nuvve vunnav.. padukuna, lechina, nuvve gurthu vasthunav.. mari intha prema unnapudu, veere ammai ni ella chuda galanu?? Heart chala heavy vundhi nanna :’(

And after I will be going home, 9 days ninnu chuda leenu :’( :’( idhi taluchu kunte ne, heart thumps very hard L and most importantly, nee b`day ki vundanu L .. undali antey unda galanu.. and in case if I stay back, and if u don’t invite me to ur place, I might end up crying very bitterly L L to avoid that heart break, velthuna.. I`m missing you chappilu L

Sare oka, thoka lo dspeds program vundhi, aadhi finish chesi ostha aagu :P

******

1:42 pm

I eager to see you! For sure, you will be looking very hot :D my queen is the hottest!

*****

2:50 pm .. 8-)

Em songs vintuna, nuvve gurthu vasthunav L I`m missing your touch :( :’(

*****

5:53 pm :D

CIC meeting ayyindi, :D eyeful gha, happy gha chusukuna ninnu chala rojulu taruwatta :D meeting lo evaru em matladaro kuda teliyadu, ninnu alaa chuuuuuusthu gadipesa :D felt nice :D missing you bujjiluu L

Inka velthuna mari, jagratha.. bubyee..

****

9:30ish pm..

Status message change chesesav enti :O

There were days, where I used to daily come and check yo status hoping it would be for me.. And now it has become like, naa gurinchi leka poyina parleedu, it shouldn't be about any other guy ani..

Tappu gha anukoku, friend aithe naku no problem, kani, ippudu nennu unna stage lo, I'm just getting very J nanna, anthe :(

Thinnava? Power naps are supposed to be very sound ones, andulo kuda mee entry icharu :P

Good night sweetie, repu antha ninnu chudachu.. :D I'm all excited and kicked up :D

23rd Sep`14

Ninna swara tho matladanu, aa matalu kastha godava ayyindi :P ento aa pilla asalu, sare le ippudu enduku le..

Btw, ninna hair cut chesukuna :D kani no beard trim :P when we were together, you didn’t like me with grown beard kadha, hehehe :P

Ee roju, prolly after a month or more than a month, natho chala repu matladav :D L nani gurinchi discuss chesav J felt good, felt home J though I`m never gonna be a part of it :D

And entey ee dialogue “Hema: koddi rojulu mundu nuvu rasina vatito nannu champav kada :S

anduke adedo akkada rayu antenna”

banda fellow :P.. nee feelings blog lo petta la? Petachu kani, chala time paduthundi nanna.. and roju naa baadha ni, fancy gha rayali antey kashtam.. anduke ee diary :P

naku, nuvvu wife gha osthe, I don’t have to worry about them asalu :P you will take care of them and I will take care of u :D :D

and chappi, did I make you feel bad by writing for you? I`m sure you didn’t 8-) ..

when there`s no furture, enduku encourage cheyali, ani anthe kadha.. anthe kadha :D naku telusu nee gurinchi :D chappi L ILU :D :$

*****

12:35 pm :D

DESIRE dhi edho meeting vundhi kadha, evening :D inka, naa chupula tho, ninnu nennu thinestha *evil grin* :D

*****

2:50 pm .. 8-)

Em songs vintuna, nuvve gurthu vasthunav L I`m missing your touch :( :’(

*****

5:53 pm :D

CIC meeting ayyindi, :D eyeful gha, happy gha chusukuna ninnu chala rojulu taruwatta :D meeting lo evaru em matladaro kuda teliyadu, ninnu alaa chuuuuuusthu gadipesa :D felt nice :D missing you bujjiluu L

Inka velthuna mari, jagratha.. bubyee..

****

9:30ish pm..

Status message change chesesav enti :O

There were days, where I used to daily come and check yo status hoping it would be for me.. And now it has become like, naa gurinchi leka poyina parleedu, it shouldn't be about any other guy ani..

Tappu gha anukoku, friend aithe naku no problem, kani, ippudu nennu unna stage lo, I'm just getting very J nanna, anthe :(

Thinnava? Power naps are supposed to be very sound ones, andulo kuda mee entry icharu :P

Good night sweetie, repu antha ninnu chudachu.. :D I'm all excited and kicked up :D

20, 21 and 22nd Sep`14

Weekends antey ne illu gurthu vastundi, your home has become my second home  aunty, sumi, pillalu..andharu adhi ento, family laa feel ayyipoyanu.. control chesuko leeka, adiga, em plans weekend ki ani.. you knew what my intensions were and you very  smartly avoided  and I was sure, your weekend will be good 
And coming to my weekend; when I`m awake, half the time, I keep thinking about you and when I`m asleep, there`s only you in it!
Ee trance nunchi bayata ki ravadaniki, khoobsurat movie ki vella.. aa movie lo sonam Kapoor, thingari pilla la,,ishtam vachinatu chesthu vuntundi, hmmm, yea, nuvve gurthu vachav 
Looking at the happy couples, I remember you.. and I feel, in these happy couples, our souls reside  Hehe, lite :P
And aagadu movie chusa :s .. first half emo, gabbar singh and second half emo, dookudu la vundhi :s and after the movie, went to ohris eatmor for a buffet :D kummesa :D though the food wasn’t that great :P and evening spa ki vella, it was good.. kani, neeku nachadu ani naa feeling, manaki, hyatt ey correct nanna!
And chapps, nizam gha ne, I felt like seeing charvi, I wasn’t making up a topic to talk to u.. hmm, nuvvu charvi photos pampa ka pothe, adhento, naa kuthuru photos, naa wife pampa ka pothe, entha kopam and baadha vastundo, ala vunindhi  chappiluu, ee roju morning abhinandana songs vintuna, nuvve gurthu vastunav… ey sings vinna gurthu vasthunav 
Nanna, ey gottam gaditho aina, after pelli compromise avail kadha ra, adhi edho natho avachu kadha ra.. for SURE, I will love you till my last breath and stand for your family ra.. hmm.. I`m missing you as always! je t'aime!
Bye nanna!

19th Oct`14

It`s seven in the morning and I`m waiting for yo morning texts, yes, I`m dwelling in those good ole days
the way u used to tell me about everything in your life, I`m waiting for yo whereabouts
I`m waiting for it all! You told me about your nightmares, you told me about your dreams and I love it when you tell me about everything you see, when we are on a ride!
You`re five foot five and perfectly fit in my arms and it`s you all I need to fall in love!
I`m lost in your heart, and I believed you were lost in mine too!
But before I sleep, Chapps, it`s only you whom I think about and dream about! You`re in my sweetest dreams and in my worst nightmares that we will never be together
In my last night dream, you were telling me about a saree you liked.
You`re really something, I wish you could be mine, forever!
*********

Came to take water twice, nee face kanapadale : (.. nuvvu ping chesthe naku yedupu osthondi :D cause I`m missing you :D .. you asked me why I`m staying back late in the evenings, work vundha ani.., just staying back to write for u, anthe. Roju, ekkado oka akkada rasthuna… outlook lo, gmail lo, whatsapp lo, .. naku naa baadhalu, chepukovadam ishtam leedu, so writings annthe : )

Lucas saloon evari kosam nanna :) nee 5th class friend kosame na :) :)
***********
Sri kosam , ee side ki vachav.. whenever you pass by, my heart skips a few beats.. and pounds very heavy 8-) 
****
12:42 pm: ninnu chudali anipistundi :( prolly will come for tea ;)
****
Nuvu hema ki ichina importance lo support lo security lo naku 0% kuda ivvaledhu… ichi unte… manishi la ardham chesukune vaadivi…   @SVT
Neeku, nennu ichina importance, andharki kanapadindi.. neeku taapa :)

14th Oct`14

1:56 AM
I really don't know what to do.. How to get her.. After i came back from work, prolly I would've unknowingly cried at least 10 times.. I'm shattered, I'm ripped, I'm torn.. :(( damn, how can I tell this girl that she means so much to me..

12th Oct`14

For some stupid reason, I had a strong impulse that she was still liking me and she might accept me ani,. She's still very strong  with her No.. I'm losing it all.. I'm losing all my energy to convince her.. And some times when I convince her, I feel I'm forcing her, which is a very bad thing.. Hmmm.. Last night power wasn't there, and no charge in my phone, so.. Writing now.. Oh my princess, how can I prove that we can be happy.. I told her that I have told about our relation to Rakesh, and also told that Rakesh was like, she wouldn't have found life or happiness in u, thats y she opted to leave u ani... And surprisingly, she was like, u should consider ur friends advice ani. Hehehe :D Nizam gha ne, chinna stroke laa anipichindi.. She's my bangaru, she's my everything.. People say, once we have sex with the person we love, we will eventually lose interest ani, I'm 1000000000% sure it wouldn't be happening with me.. Cause, though she's pretty n hot, I have never seen her from that angle.. I loved her soul :) prolly which she could never understand..
She says she has a problem accepting me.. When i ask her what's that, she says, she herself is the problem.. I didn't get it at all.. I hope at least that monkey would've understood :@
Love u now, love u always :*

12th Oct`14, kind of a very memorable day ever!

7:18 pm
Oooh yeah :D it was a wonderful day and very memorable..
I'm supposed to be at her place by 10 or so, so had a very restless night.. I kept on waking up every 2 hours to check if it's morning :| and it was finally, 7.. Had to get beard levelled and pick up pastries for Chapps n family.. Griffin and vacs will only be open by 10.. So was trying to push my self back to sleep.. Buy couldn't.. So, watched few videos on YouTube and then it was 9, rushed to green trends for levelling my beard, and then raced to Griffin, picked the pastries which are made with out any artificial essence,.. And then went to vacs to pick up choco pastries, and then came back room.. On the way back to room, she texted me saying why am I late :D was she eager to see me too??? :D damn, I hope it's true.. And then took a shower and went to her place.. She was very pretty as usual.. She was in subway surfers night ware, whatte kiddo she is :P :-*
And then she cooked cooked chicken curry, rice, and made naan for me :-D and yeah, :O payasam and halwa too :-D
She's an amazing budding cook.. In between, few gestures exchanged, were very tempting, I mean, it gave me a strong feel that she still likes me :D I really hope it's true :( she was copying food pics to lappy, and was next to me.. I was so tempted to touch her head, and tell her I love u.. I couldn't dare :)  and didn't want to spoil her mood :( but it's okay, I was really very happy.. We played carooms in the evening, yes, I'm pathetic at it.. :| I guess she realized that I wasn't comfy, :P So we decided to switch to UNO :-P Hahaha damn, it was such an entertainer.. :D even aunty played a game, I guess she started liking it :-P Had a very nice time :-D
Only fear now is that, while playing I laughed my fucking ass out :|don't know if it would've irritated aunty 8-) I really hope so not..
Aunty is very sweet, she's become my second mom types 

11th Oct`14

Surprisingly, she's being sweet with me, I don't know what's going on in her mind.. I really wish it's something very positive,.. I guess, my daily prayers are working for me..
Dont with cricket shit and we lost, and kind of sore, feeling lying down in her lap 8-)
I sometimes very strongly feel, I'm still hold the highest priority in her life, I wish, and wish could carry the same forever..
I want to become a raindrop and fall on u, to see u smile nd feel ur touch..
Loads of love and tonne kisses, love u nanna..

11th Oct`14

Morning honey pie :*
Woke up early for office cricket match today, cricket is just yet an another reason to see her.. It was really heaven speaking to her.. Which I thought it would never happen, after that stupid thing.. Hmm, I know she's a perfectly for me, kani never expected her to be positive this soon..
I kept searching for her until she came, damn!! Damn!!! Damn!!!! She's incredibly sizzling today, the way she looked at me was a little different I felt, she was also searching for me, kani, I don't want to keep my hopes high.. Cause I was never that lucky,
First time, I felt like kissing her 8-) after all, who doesn't want to kiss their girlfriend.. :D.. I'm not her boyfriend though :D
It's past 1, she's must be hungry, hmm,
Finally she ate :D and I'm going to her place tomorrow :D siggu leekunda adiga, and she said ok :D
Dairy ki brb, naa bujji lu bujji ni chusukovali :D

7th Oct`14

It's absolutely fine if u r heart has drifted on to someone else.. Now that we broke up, it's completely ur choice whom u want to be with.. Did u start liking anyone else?
oka shooting star.. ki oka wish.. Ur a wish I once made looking at a sky full of shooting stars,..
Oka sari, close ur eyes and vuhinchuko, sky full of shooting stars, and oka abbai, up on a hill, chusthu, ninnu korukunadu ani..

3rd Oct`14

I was never this happy :)  texted you my heart of.. Kani, strictly drew a line and limited my words and feelings.. Kani, whole day, I was thinking about you and was thinking what and how to wish u next :)  Bale vunindhi :D nee kosam evening temple ki vella after a very long time.. Hehe, last time 2 times, when I went, I prayed nee kosame.. When u met with an accident and monna maa village lo.. And ee roju :D
Chappi, naa prema ni kapadu kova daniki, inka few hours ey vunnai, Monday or Wednesday vallu ostharu to see my place and property.. Vaalu ok antey, inka :( I'll have to miss you forver :'(
I love u with all my heart :(( hug ivvu :((

3rd Oct`14

happy b`day my Love :D :D night 12 varaku lechi vunna, neeku call chedam ani 8-) malli enduku le, disturb avuthav emo ani, sms, chesa :P nee forehead paina kiss pettil, wish cheyali ani vundhi :D 8-) :( evry hour neeku bday wishes chepudam ani decide ayya, so my wishes will be at least a little different from of others :D ippudu naa paina love leedu kadha :D so different gha wish chesi, neeku kastha note avudam ani anthe :( chappi :( nenn antey enduku sudden gha opinion mari poyyindi :D was i bad :D  :O :O :O aina ee roju naa chappi bday :D so a big NO to sodhi :D 

my babbyyyyyy b`day :D :D entey, nee bday ki neeku poori, and naku fasting aa :s :@ nee kosam vuntanu, at least try chetha :P from this day neeku antha manchi jaragali ani wishing tho :D nuvvu antey naku ishtam kadhu, pichi, punakam :D

after ages, nee kosam temple ki velthuna, after shower , frank gha cheppali antey naa kosam kuda.. ninna ala devudu mohanu.. with in few hours.. u pinged me :O can i ask devudu for ur had for the rest of my life??? :$ :$ going showerig.. brb :D 

ro� � i h hp X�? P  vadiki antha cheppa :D he was very happy and told me not to expect too much 8-) correctey kadha anipichindi...nuvvu just ping chesav, pelli okay kadhu kadha 8-) aina edho le :O i was so happy after soo long :D 

and repu nee bday ki pampali ani vundhi :D kani, im scared if that will get a negative thing on me :( hyatt lo spa ki deal book chedam anukuna, kani deal closed ippude chusa :(

im really on cloud 9 and i want to be the first person to wish yo bday :D forhead paina kiss petti, feel like wishing you :( ee roju hyd lo vundi vuntey, you MIGHT have called me over kadha :D 

chapppi bday repu :D im very excitedddddddddddddd :D :D :D 

On Thu, Oct 2, 2014 at 12:31 PM, Pawan Simha <pawansimha@gmail.com> wrote:

Good morning hon :*
Early morning lechi, maa village ki vacham, Dushera kadha, maa temple lo pooja vundhi so, manaki ee devudu and pooja lu padav kadha, so intlo vunna :P
Hmm, naa gurinchi nennu em koruko leedu, vellaithe, I asked him to bless me with u,.. Nee manasu mari the chalu :(
Btw, repu naa Chappi b'day :D :D naa Chappi b'day :D muaaah, my baby :*** Nuvvu ippude intha cute vunnav antey, appatlo Inka entha cute vunintav :D :****** b'day babu repu Chappilu :D
Ee Sunday, hindupur vaalu ostharu anta, to see our place and stuff.. Hmm, my hope is getting shallower nanna :(( I love u ra :(((( kastha adjust avvu nanna, bagha chusukunta ra :((

2nd Oct`14

vooooooosey :O enti shocks :O 

ee roju village ki vella ani cheppa kadha, devudu ni okate adiga, velaithe to belss me with u ani.. and evening kantha nuvvu whatspp lo active avadam enti :O nuvvu ping cheydam enti :O and mana conversation antha sepu avadam enti :O kompa munchi devudu unnada enti :O or just coincidence aa :P chappi honey, i was so blue from last 2 months, i mean since we broke up.. nennu naa la leenu.. i wasnt able to focus on anything asalu, edhi lo nu disinterested gha vunna... :O and after our chat :D I`m back on (H) now i clearly understood, why i was like that :O after our chat.. i became active on all my whatsapp groups and many people were shocked to see me active again :P and after, went to meet rakesh.. naa hyperness chusi vadu shock ayyadu :P and asked me whats wrong with me ani :P  vadiki antha cheppa :D he was very happy and told me not to expect too much 8-) correctey kadha anipichindi...nuvvu just ping chesav, pelli okay kadhu kadha 8-) aina edho le :O i was so happy after soo long :D 

and repu nee bday ki pampali ani vundhi :D kani, im scared if that will get a negative thing on me :( hyatt lo spa ki deal book chedam anukuna, kani deal closed ippude chusa :(

im really on cloud 9 and i want to be the first person to wish yo bday :D forhead paina kiss petti, feel like wishing you :( ee roju hyd lo vundi vuntey, you MIGHT have called me over kadha :D 

chapppi bday repu :D im very excitedddddddddddddd :D :D :D 

On Thu, Oct 2, 2014 at 12:31 PM, Pawan Simha <pawansimha@gmail.com> wrote:

Good morning hon :*
Early morning lechi, maa village ki vacham, Dushera kadha, maa temple lo pooja vundhi so, manaki ee devudu and pooja lu padav kadha, so intlo vunna :P
Hmm, naa gurinchi nennu em koruko leedu, vellaithe, I asked him to bless me with u,.. Nee manasu mari the chalu :(
Btw, repu naa Chappi b'day :D :D naa Chappi b'day :D muaaah, my baby :*** Nuvvu ippude intha cute vunnav antey, appatlo Inka entha cute vunintav :D :****** b'day babu repu Chappilu :D
Ee Sunday, hindupur vaalu ostharu anta, to see our place and stuff.. Hmm, my hope is getting shallower nanna :(( I love u ra :(((( kastha adjust avvu nanna, bagha chusukunta ra :((

1st Oct`14

Entey kovva :@ emails ki reply kuda ivadam le :( Entha matram odhu anukuntey mari intha la ignore cheyala :( I never cared and bothered for the world ra.. Kani nuvvu illa chesthuntey baadha gha vundhi :D
Nuvvu okay ne kadha? Intlo antha ok kadha?? Tension paduthey, I don't know why you're getting tensed ani antav,.. I get tensed cause, I considered u and ur family as mine ve :@
Hmm, ee roju college ki vella.. Rakesh teaching side jobs ki trying, so naku telisina lecturers untey vellam.. Nenne drive chesa :P
Rakesh ki kuda love problem, vadi dhi, mana kana worst scene,.. Venilla is his distant cousin, they were in relation for a long time.. Kani break up.. Break up ayyi more than 1 year avtundi, he's still unable to digest and over come.. He's all fine, kani, aa topic gurthu vachinapudu, he's going all low..
Mana matter already Ninna cheppa vadiki, hmm, vadileyi, either she might have not liked u, or genuinely she might have a problem, vadileyi, marchipo anadu :'( he's thinking ur just a girl nanna.. Nuvvu ok angel ani vadiki teliyadu.. pichodu laa matladu thunadu..
I'm sure ur day would've been awesome.. Apart from the emails I've sent which would've annoyed the eff out of u..
Nee b'day ki gift and Labonel nunchi cake plan chesa.. Friend ni door deliver ivva mana,.. Intiki gift antey too much vuntundi kadha ani drop ayya.. Malli nake anipichindi, even if I send a cake, u would hate it.. Hmm, ippudu nee kosam entha prema tho, em chesina u will hate it.. The hatred what you have for me now is enough, I can't take it any more.. So cake pampadam leedu.. :( I'm missing soooooooo much nanna.. Every time I write a mail, I'm in tears, :D I only hope ur happy at least, which I'm kind of sure :) 
Love u honey bun :* sleep well.. Yelundu naa Chappi b'day :D I'm excited :D

30th Sep`14

Gm sweet heart! :D thanks for your good morning, it really made my day bright and happy :D I mean, ur quick Gm was so wow, I mean, it made me so happy,.. Hehe, like many other mails, I thought even this will be ignored :P
Noon-
Morning, driving ki velli ocha.. Bane chestuna.. Need some more practice, anthe.. I'm driving in traffic places also.. ;) btw, em thinnav? chappati?
Evening -
Coffee ayyinda andi? Mee thoka lo gossip kuda ayyinda? How's yo work going? All good? Btw, ee roju em color dress vesukunav?
Night -
Ey time ki vellav intiki? Ee roju Rakesh ki mana matter almost cheppa, how we fell for each other and what we had to break up and all.. He's asking me to give up nanna.. :( thanaki ishtam leedu kadha, y ru behind her and torturing, if she likes u, she will never let u go.. Inka vadileyi antunadu.. Am I torturing u nanna :D yedupu vachindi when he said that :D luckily I don't know to cry :D I love u Chappi :((((( love u so much :((( good night my love

29th Sep`14

Hi nanna, hope you're doing good :) pelli chupulu went on ok.. She and they liked me/us.. They're prolly coming to my place after festival.. Hmm.. Things r kind of moving fast, as of now, I haven't said anything, hoping and pinning my life on u.. Nuvvu antey enduku sudden gha antha pichi pattindo artham kavadam leedu.. Nanna, tappu gha anukoku., did you start liking anyone else? Ee age lo drifting to other people is quite common, tappu anukoku, I'm really sorry, I know that's not u, ani.. I'm just scared anthe.. Whatsapp off chesav :( emails ki reply ivvav, naa calls lift cheyav :D whatte progress, Hehe :D well deserved punishment :D Kani ee punishment enduko cheppi veyi  Chappi :( no matter what, no matter how much u ignore me, no matter how much u hate me, my love for u will remain the same nanna :)

Yours forver,
Pawanuluu

27, 28th Sep`14

Train journey was a proper circus.. Antha nee valle :| enduku antha late chesav :@ hehe :*
From the time I came to hindupur, edho okati thintune vunna 8-), I guess ikkada water problem emo, as soon as I load, I have to unload 8-) chinnapudu nunchi inthe ikkada..
Pelli chupulu went on well, girl is ok.. Decent family, her mom is over talkative, nee laa ne :P
Aina, nee antha andam evaraki osthundi, nee lo unna antha grace ella osthundi, nee antha smartness, nee antha activeness, nee antha strongess, nee antha prema, nee antha care, veere evaraki oche chance ey leedu..
Hmm, ammai andharki nachindi.. Vellu emo taking it forward I feel.. Yedupu osthoondi nanna :(( for sure, I can keep you happy through out our life nanna.. I love u Chappi :(
I don't why ur inactive on whatsapp.. Felt like hearing ur voice, call chesa, nuvvu pick cheyale.. Purposely avoiding kadha :( ee bagha tho, I wish I could die.. Appudaina u might believe I loved u ani.. :((
Every second, we spent, naa eyes mundhu alane kana paduthundi :(( naa life nee tho ne ani fix aya Chappi, naa wife ni bagha chusukovali ani anukuna.. Chappi :((((( I love u ra :((

24th Sep`14

I'm excited to pick u tomorrow :D hope u will be in pink.:D Chappiiiiii pieeee, muaaah, Gn :D

24th Sep`14

Same place :D nuvve missing :(