15th Nov`14

and it`s finally my b`day :D :D i thought she would either call or text me in the midnight.. i know she isn`t of that type, she prefers wishing early in the morning. so, i tried to calm down. I was very disappointed when my other friends started wishing me and i was still waiting for her. and then it`s finally morning, as soon as i woke up, i looked at my phone with half an eye open to check if i have got calls from her :) and then i waited till 8:30 and then decided that she doesn`t know it`s my b`day, but i was still hoping. I went through a very hard night waiting for her to wish me first. and then i turned my phone to flight mode. i was very depressed, so i didn`t want to hear anyone else wishing me.. i didn`t want to feel it was my b`day, i just wanted to feel like it was any other day.
i woke up, took a shower, was very hungry yet i didnt feel like eating. Yes, i don`t feel like eating when im low.. so, have again hit bed.. and woke up at noon.. went straight to the bar and drank a lot of beer.. i hate drinking. i mean, i only drink very occasionally, and i hate to drink on my b`day.. but i just had to, so i would be high and keep her off my mind. and then went for a dinner and a movie after that. i returned to my place around 2:30.. and then removed my phone from flight mode and then saw her texts and whatsapp messages where she was wished me, invited me to her place and she made all the food, i love :( damn, she`s so sweet and adorable :( want an idiot i was to put my phone in flight mode. and now my brains hurt thinking, why would she cook everything i love on my b`day :| i do know she`s making a cookery blog, she might have cooked for that too.. but for some string reason, i felt she cooked for me, to make me happy :D hmm.. i don`t know what i mean to her, but she means everything to me. this day is supposed to be the special day for me, but this was just yet an any other day, thinking, dreaming about her :)
love you my pie!

14th Nov`14

and then, she actually remembers my b`day :( she asked me if tomorrow is my b`day.. i wanted to say an yes, but i dont know why i lied :( prolly, cause, i know I`m never gonna get her :D i was very touched, :( i know, she has pushed me off her life, and it would be really stupid of me if i keep expecting from her :P i just wanted to spend my all day with her.. my minds knows, it`s all over, but my heart is still behind her.. unknowingly, i became rude with her.. havent said anything but still was rude.. DAMN!! fuck this feel!! tomorrow is my b`day :((((( I`m neither gonna be with my parents nor with her.. i just wanted to sleep in my moms lap and wanted a hug from my dad.. but.. fuck!! i want to lay down in her lap once, just once.. :( and i wanted to be with her for the entire day.. i cant ask none of these to her :) since, im no one to her, can`t ask if i can lay down in her lap.. and if at all i ask her down for the whole day, or for a while, .. no.. no.. i dont even want to ask, the words she has uttered comparing me with him is still echoing in my ears :D
Dude, whats the whole fuss about!!!? It`s just a fucking b`day! So, what!??? Calm the fuck down mate, .. i know, i should :D i try to realize, i fail to realize, i realize, i fail :D cause, my wish dominates the fact that she doesn`t want me :D I`m bad in convincing people and i don`t even want to be good at it..
i dont know why she`s calling me home tomorrow :( is she sure about my b`day :(  i want to be with her but :( i want to be with her forever :(
Darling, it`s just one day, i really want to be with you :( i love you so much my sweetheart :( i even love the way you pushed me off yo life :D :( :D :'( :D :D 

12th Nov`14

b`days are the big things for me.. my dear ones and even mine :D

Not that my b`day is just around the corner, I`m just very scared of she not wishing me L not even going home hoping to be spend my day with her kani, not that her cousins are coming, I hardly have any chance to spend my day with her.. but does she remember my bday :( hmm.. I know and respect that she has moved on, kani.. I haven’t moved on kadha.. I still feel, I want her :( let`s see.. just few more hours.. I f she wishes.. i will be excited and happy :D and if she doesnt, i wouldnt be surprised :P no matter what, she will always be my sweetheart J

She pinged and asked about a watch, got a little depressed thinking, she`s gonna gift her fiancée, and then realized, she isn’t hooked yet :P and then suddenly got excited thinking, if she`s gonna gift for my b`day.. I know,  she doesn`t believe in celebrating b`days/ exchanging gifts and all.. and then I asked what`s happening, and then she told that one of team member from pune asked ani .. I was like okay K

Thought of dropping her home but she rode down herself and got drenched in rain, 8-) sometimes I feel, I was never there for her when she actually needed me,..  

11th Nov`14

I`m not writing doesn’t mean, I`m not missing or I don’t want her.. writing more, reminds more and is giving me more pain.. so.. crying and riding for a while is more better..
hmm, things between us are kind of okay now, I mean, nothing more than a friend for her.. she started calling me over to her place and I started giving her rides.. and yesterday when I was at her place, her cousins called and they were coming over to her place this weekend, 15th Nov, hmm, yeah, that’s my birthday, the day I was dying to spend with her.. hmm.. but it`s okay, she`s gonna have fun time with her cousins :) but, does she remember my birthday :/ what if she doesn’t even call :D hehe, ..
actually, I love to spend my birthday with my family, I don’t like to celebrate though, I just want to be with them, .. but hoping, she will remember and invite me to her place, I didn’t even book tickets.. now, miss my folks pampering and will miss her too..
should I take a bus or buy a tatkal ticket and go home? Or what if her cousins will not turn up and invite me :D I don’t know what to do!
Probably, I will just stay back, and hope to meet her, .. cause, this might be the last birthday we might get.. but I can celebrate all my birthdays till I die with my folks.. I just hope and wish she remembers my birthday :(
I will always love you sweet heart :)
She came in her new red dress today :O OMFG, she`s damn pretty in this :O she`s glowing like a radium :O and her stupid smile  makes me go crazy =)) what a wonderful lady she is 8-) hehe, probably that`s the reason I fell for her :D

12th Nov,
Had a nice ride, went to her place.. aunty gave me bujjia roti and some curd bread thing.. hmm.. every time I see her, I feel like pulling her into my arms 8-)
Love you!

22nd Oct`14

Gm sweetheart :D

Ninna night edho dream, andulo, we were riding, u were telling me to ride faster K and then we reached a blind curve and there was exact place for the tire to fit K and adhi kuda, curve and it was slippery K K and we were about to slip into a valley :s oka hand lo, I was holding u and another hand lo I was holding bike K and then I let go the bike and was unable to pull u.. and then from nowhere, my pedha mama came, pulled both of us.. took us to his place, and took me aside and beat me :( and he started yelling at me, ur irresponsibility, would`ve killed her and how would u live without her, ani, :( ento, nennu naa pichi kallalu 8-) hmm, prathi dream lo, nuvvu naa cheyi jaari pothunatu, kashta padi, nennu pattukuntunatu osthundi.. hmmm.. nuvvu ala aina dakuthe bagundu :)

Reached her place and picked her up to office, ento ee pilla, asalu noru ki rest ivvadhu, non-stop matladuthune vuntundi 8-) 8-) hehehe, bujji dhi :D illa matladina appudu, muthi ki mudhu petayali anipistundi :D :D

Went to Croma to see wet grinder for her.. how pretty she looks and how sweetly she talks 8-) she very well knows whom to keep where.. hmm, well, was talking about an incident she told about kal.. that fellow is okay and all but I don’t like anyone over acting with her 8-) :@ hmm

I love the way she turns around to look at me :) my heart goes sha la la la la :D :D

Im leaving my love, bubyee tata J muaaah :*

20th Oct

How can I ignore such an angel walking on the floor 8-) damn, she`s so gorgeous :)
Hmm, decided not to ping her and disturb, and also decided not even to bother with whom she`s hanging out and all..
She`s having shit loads of work, she didn’t even go for coffee :O  hmm

21st Oct`14

Gm nanna.. ento nuvvu nee dress lu, radium la mersipothunav 8-) :P :*** bujji dhana.. 

Ento I feel like growing beard and hair and whenever it becomes too much, I feel like, you should remind me about it.. I mean, u should tell me when to trim my beard and make my hair, like how my mom tells me 8-) ento, though I`m trying to get over, antha easy gha aithe leedu, ninnu marchi povadam  8-) hmm.. 

To love anyone, reasons em avasaram leedu, emotions untey chalu, and to hate someone katchintanga, reasons vuntai, my fate, I gave u enough reasons  no matter what, I will love you forever cause you`re my angel   love you chappi pie :)

Waiting for her for an elevator ride 8-)

And then we in the basement we decided to go buy crackers :D and yea, I took her (H) hehhe